Next week, for two weeks, is the Well Fayre at work. Normally (in non-COVID times) our Well Fayre is held over 2 days at our 2 main offices, it's over a few hours at lunch time. We have different stalls for different organisations and networks. It's essentially a mini-Freshers Fair. Sweets at every stand, and a few freebies to grab. It's well worth taking your lunch break there once a year.
This year however, we've needed to flex accordingly. I'm part of the Empowering Women Network committee and I've organised a couple of events over the two weeks with a colleague, and I'm super proud of what we've arranged. We now just need people to turn up. I'm also going to be talking about my experience playing Dungeons and Dragons during lockdown (spoiler alert: I flipping love it).
One of the things I spotted and signed up for, is the book club that the social committee runs. I've thought about joining before, but wasn't 100% sure I'm a book club type of person. For this though, the book to be read was 'I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes with Death' by Maggie O'Farrell. I bought this on Kindle when it was released. So I was keen to finally dust it off (virtually, because Kindle) and actually read it, and this was the driver I needed. So I signed up for the session and I've finally read the book.
This book is non-fiction. You can see on the cover above it clearly says it's a memoir. It's no secret that I'm into the macabre. I love dark tourism, true crime and reading books by forensic experts, medical examiners, and books like this about death. When I first started heading down this route, I got a lot of concerned looks, and Christian friends told me this was not a topic to look at as someone of faith. My parents weren't sure about my fascination either, and told me it might be better to be interested in a lighter topic.
I ignored everyone and ploughed on. I'm now addicted to true crime podcasts and TV series, I devour documentaries on serial killers, and I adore the books I read on very real crime and the details involved. It's morbid and macabre, but so fascinating. My parents are now also hooked on true crime podcasts and enjoy the odd documentary we watch together.
This book is not really an autobiography, but it's also not like the other books I've read like this - it's not written by an expert in the field, or by another true crime junkie up to their eyeballs in an individual case (like Herman Knipperberg in the BBC's series 'The Serpent' which we recently watched).
The author recalls a different event in each chapter. Some chapters are short, some are long; some go into insane detail, and some are vague recollections. It's also a relatively short book, and I finished it in 5 days.
I had high expectations for this book. Like I said, I am a huge fan of this theme, and I've read many books similar but not quite the same. It literally says it on the cover: it's a memoir about a person's near death experiences. I was ready for more writing similar to 'Unnatural Causes' by Dr Richard Shepherd or 'All That Remains' by Sue Black - both memoirs, but written by medical examiners. I like their analytical writing style, their doctor approach - everything is clear, clean and clinical. This book is not that.
This is written by a fiction author, and you can tell from the language she uses. I like my non-fiction books to be written in a non-fiction way. I am not looking for the language O'Farrell uses and for me it made it difficult to read. I felt further separated from her experiences as a result.
I also simply didn't warm to her. It's non-fiction, so I don't feel that calling her a character is correct, but she is the centre (obviously) of the book, and to feel something requires you to feel something for her. Afterall, these are all firsthand stories from her life. I felt that if I was at a party (lol - COVID) and she was there telling her stories, I'd skip that table and look for someone telling stories I connect with instead.
I say that with difficulty, as these should be the kind of stories I connect with. This was a really disappointing read, but I'm excited to hear what others in the bookclub thought. I don't know if it fell short because my expectations were high, or if it just fell short. If you've read it - let me know your thoughts.