Hello, I'm Amy and about 2 years ago I became obsessed with true crime. I've always loved a good detective story, and I've been fascinated by fictional killers (see Hannibal Lector [the novelisation > film version though Anthony Hopkins for life], Hans Lander/Aldo Raine, Jason Voorhees, Norman Bates etc) for what feels like forever. But what pushed me from the world of fiction into real life?
I was trawling Netflix trying to decide what to watch next one fateful night. I was binging boxsets like nobody’s business. If I got home early enough, I could do a whole series in one night. I've never really enjoyed a romantic series (lol if you've seen all my book reviews on Virgin River, you'd never know this is a huge diversion from anything I'd normally consume) - they're too sickly sweet with happily ever after endings, which as a bitter single person makes me want to vomit.
In my depression, I've found I reach for thriller and horror shows and films because they somehow make me feel less numb. They get my blood pumping, my heart racing and I engage with them rather than passively do other things/scroll and scroll and scroll on my phone whilst they're on in the background.
I was looking for another thriller, and my algorithm has pleasingly picked up on my viewing habits so it makes it much easier to find something to watch, when I noticed the featured pick that Netflix was really pushing on me. You know the one - when you log in, the trailer just starts playing to try and lure you in.
I skipped over it a few times, but I kept thinking about it. Finally, I gave in and decided to watch it. I thought, I like the cast and the story sounds like it's right up my alley... and it's based on a true story, not really something that really lured me in, but just something I noted.
As I'm sure you might have guessed from the title, I'm talking about the Netflix Original series Dirty Johnstarring Connie Britton and Eric Bana. You might have also realised by now, that I loved it. I just couldn't believe this was a true story. How real was Debra Newell? And her family?
I'm so used to seeing the tag 'based on a true story' and maybe just a name is real and everything else imagined. The Greatest Showman comes to mind - so much story fabricated for the sake of a good film (I'm not complaining, I adore that film, it's just not really based on a lot of truth). I wondered if Dirty John had had the same treatment – a true story filtered through Hollywood's lens.
I started doing a bit of research. I wanted to know, no... I needed to know. I didn't need to look far. There was a documentary on Netflix and, of course, the podcast on which everything came from, also called Dirty John.
The podcast was created by LA Times journalist Christopher Goffard and is described as "a true story about seduction, deception, forgiveness, denial, and ultimately, survival."
After binging the podcast, my thirst for true crime stories had been far from quenched. So, I went on a journey. I've been joined along the way by Mike Ferguson and Mike 'Gibby' Gibson from the podcast True Crime All The Time and True Crime All The Time Unsolved, Em Schulz and Christine Schiefer from the podcast And That's Why We Drink, Netflix, Prime Video, NowTV and a plethora of Kindle books...
I'm going to spend some time sharing some stories I've heard and giving you my perspective on the case. The cases I'll share are some of my "favourites" - it always feels wrong calling true crime stories favourites... the stories that grab my attention the most? There are some of the most famous killers in history, who (up until 2 years ago) I had never heard of.
It turns out that some of my favourite fictional killers are actually based on real life killers, which chill me to my very core. This might not be for everybody, but my blog is a place for me to share the things that interest me the most, and true crime is one of my biggest interests.
So, join me as I look at the case of Dirty John Meehan, the story that sparked my obsession with true crime.
Terra Newell was the last person anyone thought would be the downfall of John Meehan. She was 25 years old, 5ft2 and 130lbs when he attacked her from behind. He was 56, physically fit, 6ft2 and 163lbs with a knife and, what the police called, a “kidnap kit”. Anyone’s money would have been on John Meehan. But this is not your usual story.
What really drew me to this case – this story – is the character of Terra. I saw so much of myself in her, and it helped me connect with everyone else – Debra, Jacquelyn, John… Seeing this story unfold, and the chilling knowledge that these were all real people and real events had me hooked.
What was it about Terra that I connected with? Here are some facts about me:
I love country music – it’s kind of my life blood. My alarm clock is set to the only UK country music station, I’m learning to play the banjo (really badly, sorry Alex!) and I’ve seen so many live country music concerts – I can’t wait for gigs to happen again. I’m desperately hoping that Keith Urban will reschedule his cancelled tour dates from the start of the pandemic!
For years I was utterly convinced that it was only a matter of time before zombies took over the world. I had a full plan of what to do in the event of zombies, how to protect myself, what my weapon of choice would be – and how I would live out my days fighting for my life. Because if you don’t kill the zombie’s brain, it will eat yours. I’m not as intense about this anymore, but I know what I would do if that situation went down.
I’ve always been a dog person, and now I have my little bundle of joy in the shape of my puppy Dolly (named after country music superstar Dolly Parton) she’s my world (even though she just interrupted my writing by dragging a bag through the room!)
Okay, ready for some facts about Terra?
She loves country music – particularly songs about drinking beer, having a good time and loving God. The night she was attacked, she was due to go to a Jason Aldean concert, and in the ambulance on the way to the hospital she asked if she was still going to be able to go. The paramedics said no – but put on some country music for her.
She was completely obsessed with The Walking Dead. She learnt so much in the way of self-defence from it. She thought a lot about the survival tips she picked up from it – remembering when one character used his teeth to bite someone to get away from them, and she realised she could use her teeth as a weapon. The most important takeaway she had from the show? In those situations, it’s kill or be killed.
She was a complete dog person. She had a mini Australian Shepherd called Cash (named after the country music superstar Johnny Cash). She worked as a groomer and dog walker, and despite her small frame, she was quite strong as she often dealt with bigger breeds like Dobermans or Rhodesian Ridgebacks and a variety of large, aggressive dogs.
Can you see the similarities?
Unlike many of the true crime stories I’ve become fascinated with, as you can tell from above, although this story is hard to hear, it does have a happy ending. There was only one death in this story, but the other victims survived.
So now I’ve told you why I connected with this story. Time to dig right in. Before I start properly, I want to credit my sources. This all started when I watched the Dirty John drama on Netflix here in the UK starring Connie Britton and Eric Bana, however, this is not cited here as it is ultimately based on the true story. I wanted to share with you the true story, though I highly recommend the series.
I used the LA Times sections of their website dedicated to the Dirty John story: https://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-dirty-john/
I used the podcast created by LA Times reporter Christopher Goffard. You can find it wherever you listen to your podcasts (I use Apple Podcasts and Spotify) – search Dirty John.
I used Harper Bazaar’s timeline to help guide me through the exact story: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-tv/a25372275/dirty-john-true-story-timeline/
I watched the Evil Lives Here episode (S05E13) called ‘I Killed Dirty John’ which showed re-enactments and interviews with Debra Newell and Terra Newell. This is currently available on Discovery+.
I used Christopher Goffard’s (afterall, he did a hell of a lot of work on this case, I highly recommend his podcast – you can’t beat it) book titled ‘Dirty John and Other True Stories of Outlaws and Outsiders’ – I got a digital Kindle version, but you can find it in all good book retailers.
Finally, I used newspapers.com to source newspaper articles about John Meehan from various historical newspaper publications.
Credit where credit’s due. Now let’s crack into it!
Despite me talking a lot about Terra, she’s not actually the main character here. Let me introduce you now to her mother, Debra Newell. She was the intended target of John Meehan.
She was 59 years old when the story starts. She was a very successful interior designer, she was a Christian, and her faith was of central importance to her. When the story starts, she’s living in a penthouse with her daughter Jacqueline.
Debra has 4 grown kids and has been married (and divorced) 4 times. She’s also close to her mother. But she wants a husband – a partner to share her life and success with.
Debra had signed up online dating and so far, it had been really disappointing. Conversations dried up, and where they didn’t and she went on dates, the men weren’t who they said they were, or their photo was dramatically different. It all chalked up as disappointment after disappointment, but she didn’t give up on finding love and happiness.
Then she connected with John Meehan. He was different to the rest. He ticked all her boxes: he was very attractive (he had a classic gym body), he was a Christian (and even worshipped at her church too sometimes), he had a very good job (doctor!), and he was also divorced with kids – so he knew where she was in life.
His messages were also wonderful – he was really into her, and she felt so flattered and enjoyed the attention. So, meeting him for a date was an easy decision.
John was so different to the other men she had met – he lived up to her expectations in person. He was lovely and completely focused on her. Conversation was easy – it was true give and take, unlike her other online dates. He showed her a lot of affection, and she did wonder if it was too much for a first date, but she didn’t dwell on it. She was enjoying being the centre of his attention. She didn’t want the date to end, so she invited him to her penthouse. They shared a kiss, but he appeared to want more. He walked into her bedroom and lay down on her bed and exclaimed “This feels incredible!” as he stretched out over it.
Stepping out of the story for a moment – that would make me feel super uncomfortable, and it makes me cringe a little bit inside. Your home, but particularly your bedroom, is your safe space and for someone to walk in uninvited and lie on your bed and make these kind of comments? It makes my skin crawl.
It made Debra feel uncomfortable too. She asked him to leave, but he didn’t take it well. He didn’t want to, but eventually she got him out of her apartment. She felt so disappointed. It had been such a great date; he had been everything she had been looking for and he'd seemed so invested in her too. Just another disappointing date from the dating website.
That should be the end of the story, right? A sketchy first date. Maybe wondering years later whatever happened to that weirdo you had that one date with? He seemed so nice, but he creeped me out. Move on to your next match?
John was too clever for that. He wanted Debra. He had done his research and she was a great victim for his plan. He wasn’t letting go that easily.
I’m going to miss out a lot of the detail that I find super interesting about this case – the podcast that kicked all this off is 6 episodes long. I cannot recommend enough going to listen to it, or even just watching the drama series on Netflix. But I’ll crack on with the key points of this story.
Debra went into work the next day and was surprised to receive a call from John. He apologised and explained maybe he’d come on too strong, but he didn’t want to leave her with that bad impression and asked her to give him another chance.
Maybe it was the Christian in her leaning towards forgiveness and second chances, maybe she really wanted her first impression of him to be right, maybe it was a combination of things. Debra agreed to give him a second chance.
By the second or third date he was telling her he loved her and that he wanted to marry her. She loved being the centre of his world, and whoever said flattery gets you nowhere was dead wrong.
Only 5 weeks after their infamous first date, they were looking for an apartment together. Debra and John found a beautiful house on the boardwalk of Balboa Island, Newport Beach. A steal at $6500 a month (that's about 20% of my annual salary...) which Debra paid upfront for a year. John was not put on the lease. He explained he'd had some tax problems. She didn't ask questions and signed the lease herself.
Let’s step on out of the story again here – remember that old adage? If it seems too good to be true, it probably is? This is a perfect case of that. And Debra saw the red flags, her alarm bells rung – but she wanted it to be true. Someone loved her (seemingly) so unconditionally. Isn’t that what we all want deep down? The perfect partner who wants nothing but you – telling you that you’re perfect, that you’re everything they ever dreamed of, that they wish they’d met you sooner. That was John. And he didn’t just say the words, he did the actions to support them. He said and did everything perfectly.
It’s easy to victim blame in this situation and say Debra should’ve seen the signs. “If she was that intelligent and successful, she wouldn’t have been in that position.” I’m sorry, but bullshit. John Meehan was very intelligent. He talked the talk and walked the walk. As we’ll see, he conned a lot of people. When he didn’t get his way, he was downright terrifying. But if he could sweet talk you into it first? Then he’d do that.
Let’s focus on John just for a hot second. He wore scrubs all the time. They were faded and blue, and he wore shorts with them and dirty trainers. Jacqueline, Debra’s daughter, thought he looked like he might be homeless. He turned up to a fancy charity ball to accompany Debra in this outfit. People stared and whispered about him. Debra didn’t see any of that. To her, this was a busy doctor whose work was more important than how he looked, and how he made her feel was worth more than clothes.
When he was asked, his reason for his lack of clothes was that he’d just come back from Iraq working with Doctors Without Borders, and whilst he’d been out there his clothes had been stolen. He didn’t have any money and the scrubs were all he needed for work. It sounds farfetched, but also kind of reasonable? He said it with such confidence, that no one could possibly doubt him…
There were little things about John that Debra loved – he worked out and wasn’t shy about his body. You can see one of the first selfies he sent Debra below. She’d often smile when he’d stop in front of a mirror and say things like “Damn! I’m good-looking!”. There was no denying that he was a well-built, physically fit man. Attractive, but if he used that fitness to his advantage, unstoppable.
Less than 2 months since they’d met, they went to Las Vegas together. That’s right folks, you know what’s coming next. Debra didn’t though. For her, it was a business trip and for John – he thought he’d come with her as he didn’t have much on at the time.
As I said earlier, it was only on their second or third date that he’d started telling her he wanted to marry her. It wasn’t a one-time remark, he said it often. He kept asking her to marry him and she had kept saying no. But this time she said yes. Whilst in Vegas they stopped at the courthouse and got married. No one was invited.
Debra didn’t tell anyone. She kept her 5th marriage a secret. She knew her kids didn’t like John and she just wanted to hold on to this happiness and live in this bubble for a little while longer before her kids popped it for her. She wanted this, and all the happiness that came with it… or so she thought.
Like I’ve already said, Debra was a successful businesswoman and with that success came a certain lifestyle. She had 2 expensive cars; she had her penthouse still while she was living with John in Balboa Heights. The leases overlapped and she let Jacqueline live out the rest of the lease in the penthouse. The place in Balboa Heights had a large price tag on it. Her wardrobe was full of designer fashion.
There was also a tragedy in the family past. In 1984 Debra’s sister Cindi had been murdered by her husband Billy Vickers who had then turned the gun on himself. It’s an interesting story, and one that I think is pivotal in some of the decisions Debra made with John. So, I’m going to give you the abridged version of a crime within a crime story:
Cindi had married Billy when she was a teenager. She was beautiful and headstrong; he was a balding supermarket manager… visually they didn’t appear to match. But they seemed happy (because looks aren’t everything – but there’s nothing else really written about them in my research) – they had 2 boys.
Cindi talked to her mother, Arlane Hart, and told her some alarming information – Billy wouldn’t let her wear a bikini on the beach because other men might look at her. He was becoming controlling and possessive, not letting her go shopping on her own in case another man picked her up.
Cindi had met another man though – he was a professional football player from Palm Springs, and he showered her with flattering comments. Much like her sister, Debra, this was like fresh air for Cindi and her marriage started to collapse. Cindi wanted a divorce from Billy, but Billy didn’t want to let Cindi go.
On March 8 1984, Cindi was writing cheques in the house her and her husband had just sold. Unknown to Cindi, Billy had borrowed a pistol from a friend a few weeks beforehand and he came up behind her and shot her in the back of the neck. He then turned the gun on himself and shot himself in the stomach.
He called police and told them he had shot himself. He didn’t tell them about Cindi. Billy recovered from his injury. Cindi passed away.
The part of the story that I think influenced Debra the most is the next part. When Arlane was told what had happened, her reaction was to raise her hands to God and ask for help. Billy apologised to Arlane for killing her daughter and she forgave him, as though he had stolen her pen.
I’m not criticising Arlane’s incredible capacity for forgiveness. She says herself that it didn’t come from her it came from God. It’s in the bible, and the Lord’s Prayer – to forgive others. And it’s a big ask to forgive someone for killing your daughter. I have huge respect for Arlane’s ability to do this.
Debra couldn’t forgive Billy though, and seeing her mother forgive him and feeling unable to do the same thing made her feel like something was wrong with her. That feeling went unchecked and I think that maybe Debra overcompensated with showing forgiveness to those undeserving and who didn’t repent like Billy had done.
It’s really difficult, because yes Arlane did something incredible by forgiving her son-in-law, but Debra not being able to doesn’t mean something is wrong with her. If no one told her that and she carried that as guilt, it would change your relationship with the act of forgiveness in others.
There’s also how Arlane behaved at Billy’s trial. The prosecution thought they had it in the bag until Arlane asked to speak on Billy’s behalf. She told the jury that she forgave him, that in her eyes he was her son, and she didn’t want to lose him too. She then went on to tell the court that Cindi had mistreated her husband and was a bad person – almost suggesting that she had deserved being shot almost execution style in the back of the neck.
The prosecutor, Thomas Avdeef, said “They threw her [Cindi] under the bus. I don’t know the dynamics of the family. I could never understand that. Why say bad things about the victim?” and his words describe how I feel too. Standing up for Billy and saying you forgive him is one thing, but from the limited information I have seen, I can’t believe that Cindi mistreated Billy.
This denouncing of the victim by Arlane would be something that would stick with Debra – and maybe make her question that being a victim herself is something she might deserve, like Arlane had suggested of Cindi. It might not have, but it’s how I read/interpreted the information.
Either way, this was a massive trauma to the whole family, and something that now echoes back through the past to the story of Dirty John.
Now we left the story with John and Debra happily married, but not telling anyone. It wasn’t long after they returned home that they had spent a typical Sunday morning at church. When they returned, Debra walked into the kitchen with John to find an unknown woman standing there.
Debra thought maybe she was homeless and/or a drug addict who might have climbed in through a skylight. She didn’t want to press charges, but before she’d had time to think all of this, John had pushed the intruder onto the countertop and pulled her arms behind her back. He told Debra to go outside and call the police.
John said he didn’t know the intruder, but Debra was sure she’d seen him say something to her before the police had taken her away. There was a niggling feeling in her stomach, but she pushed it down.
John decided they needed to ramp up security after this event – he wanted Debra to feel safe. Soon the house was covered in cameras, and he had them installed at her office too… whatever he could do to make her feel safe. All the cameras were accessible on his smart phone.
Debra wasn’t stupid. She wondered if John was watching her, and she thought that she could watch him too. She downloaded the app too and kept tabs on it. She soon noticed some strange anomalies.
John would leave the house at the same time as her in his usual outfit of scrubs. But just a couple of hours later he’d be back in the house. He’d lie down for a few hours or play video games. He definitely wasn’t working. She noticed him do this a couple of times, so she went home and confronted him.
But John always had excuses that were so watertight it was hard to argue. He’d say that the surgery was cancelled for whatever detailed reason. He also sometimes said he wasn’t feeling too well, so another doctor had covered for him.
Debra had also found a total of 9 different prescription pills that John took. She asked him about them, worrying that it was a large number of drugs (lol – I carry a drug pouch with my various medications in it everywhere I go! I hope no one wonders if I’m a drug addict!) but he had his excuse ready to go: he had MS, ADHD, Ambien/pain pills were for injuries from jumping out of a helicopter for Doctors Without Borders, antibiotics for a minor infection…
Not only were they convincing excuses, there wasn’t even a heartbeat between the accusation and the excuses he gave. He didn’t pause, he didn’t stop to think, the lies just rolled straight out. Whenever Debra found something to confront him on, he’d do this, then counter with “why would I lie to you?” and somehow Debra found herself apologising. He was a master manipulator and could always turn the accusations around.
Okay, we’re going to find out a bit more about Debra’s kids now. We started with Terra, so let’s finish up our focus on her.
Terra had already spent most of her life living with anxiety. She was certain that when she was around 6 years old that someone had climbed through her bedroom window to snatch her. Her parents thought it was a dream – they were in the process of divorce and thought the stress was transferring to her.
Ever since that event, Terra has suffered with nightmares. She’d see dark shapes and was convinced they were ghosts or aliens. She had revisited the snatching event with her therapist, discussing if it was real or not. Terra became convinced it actually happened.
Another parallel for me here is the anxiety and potentially very vivid nightmares and dreams. I’ve suffered with sleep paralysis on more than one occasion too, and it can be really terrifying and the feeling of imminent threat in that moment is tangible and very real. Even if it didn’t happen, that feeling of terror and anxiety were very real for Terra – so I understand her experience here.
Finally, in a very creepy and foreshadowing dream Terra had, she imagined John attacked her and to save herself, she had to stab him.
Terra’s sister Jacqueline is almost the polar opposite of Terra. Jacqueline was suspicious of everyone and quite co-dependant on her mother. We don't get to know too much about Jacqueline - after her mother moved to Balboa Island, she stayed living in the penthouse until the lease expired. She collected designer and vintage bags. She had some that are so valuable, she kept them in a safe in her closet.
Jacqueline was instantly suspicious of John and used her knowledge and experience to try to find the truth about what motivated him. She had spent time around doctors in a previous job and was used to seeing them - and John did not look like the various doctors she had come into contact with.
It was because of Jacqueline's suspicions, that she and some other members of the family hired a private investigator to dig into John's background. What her PI finds is key to finding out just who John really is...
Before I jump into the juicy details of what the PI finds, it’s at around the same time that Debra has started to have some doubts about who she has married. After the cameras all went up and Debra was feeling watched, there was an incident that drove a huge wedge between who she thought John was and who he might turn out to really be.
Debra went out to collect the mail from the mailbox outside their house, and as she stood outside checking what they’d received she noticed a letter addressed to John. It had come from Orange County Prison. She had already started to feel concerned, so opened it. The way it read sounded like John had been in prison and this was an old friend congratulating him on his new life outside.
John came out of nowhere and snatched the letter out of Debra’s hands. Again, his excuse was ready to go – he told her that he sent gift packets to men in prison. He told her he had never spent a single day in prison. And the cherry on top? He threatened to have her arrested for opening his mail, because it’s a federal crime.
This prompted Debra to have a look through some of John’s things and she was shocked to find out the same information that Jacqueline’s PI had discovered:
He had multiple identities and social security cards. He had multiple restraining orders against him from various women. He had been arrested on multiple occasions and been in jail more than once.
One arrest report in particular showed that the officers had found cyanide, guns, knives and zip ties in his apartment when they went to arrest him. And the final find that pushed Debra over the edge? He had been in jail 3 days before he had met her. His claim that he’d been in Iraq for Doctors Without Borders had all been a lie.
Debra realised that John was capable of killing her.
John had checked himself into hospital because he was having some back problems, and some complications from the different medications he was on. Debra saw her window of opportunity and took it.
Friends and family helped her to pack up her stuff and left. She figured losing £50k on the lease of the Balboa Heights property was nothing compared to potentially losing her life. While they were packing up, they found John had printed out pages about himself from DatingPsychos.com where women posted warnings about scary and unfaithful men. He was proud of his record, which was multiple pages long.
From his hospital bed John sent her threatening messages. He played on her fears and her insecurities. Everything he’d built her up with, he now used to tear her apart. Here was the ugly side to John Meehan, his real face since his façade had slipped.
So, who was this real John Meehan? Let’s take a look… prepare yourselves, because it is not pretty.
Christopher Goffard interviewed John’s sisters: Donna Meehan Stewart and Karen Douvillier, John’s ex-wife Tonia Sells and his old college roommate Kevin Horan, and it’s from these records that we can pull together the real picture of John Meehan.
John Meehan was born in February 1959 in San Jose, California to Dolores Boles and William Meehan. Not much is known about his mother, but his father William was raised in Brooklyn and ran Diamond Wheel Casino in San Jose.
When his sisters, Donna Meehan Stewart and Karen Douvillier are asked about where it all went wrong, they point to their father.
Donna recalls William teaching John “how to lie” – how to pull off fake lawsuits and insurance scams amongst other criminal skills. Karen also remembers William telling John that he should never leave a slight unpunished. He told John that “you go there with a stick and take care of it” and “it’s the Brooklyn mentality of you fight, you get even. If you want to get back at somebody, you don’t get back at them, you get back at their family.”
It was family lore that the Meehans were related to Albert Anastasia who ran the New York mob called Murder Inc in the 1950s. There is no documentation to prove this, but John loved the idea of being connected by blood to a prolific mobster. He leans on this association often in his life.
John’s mother, Dolores, had an affair and William tried to win her back with violence. John was hated by his mother as a product of a man she now hated. William felt the same way. John returned the hate towards his parents.
John followed his father’s teachings and won legal settlements after throwing himself in front of a car and sprinkling glass in his food in restaurants. He was selling cocaine and was eventually caught. He took a plea deal and didn’t serve time, but part of the agreement was that he had to leave California.
After John left home he went to the University of Arizona where he graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree. He then went on to study law at the University of Dayton in Ohio. This was short-lived however.
It was during his law school days when he earned the nickname Dirty John. His housemate Kevin Horan recalls his memories from that time. He reflects that John was always a loner – “this strange, lone-wolf guy that did all kinds of scandalous-type things, and it wasn’t just with women. I’m like, ‘that guy, you can’t trust him for nothing. He’s rotten top to bottom.’”
There was a huge number of women he was constantly bringing back to the house, he had multiple credit cards delivered – all with different names on, but he maintained his stereotypical laid-back cool-guy California persona. Then he suddenly disappeared. He’d dropped out after first year, but no one knew why… until his report card turned up. His housemates held it up to the light and could see he’d got Ds and Fs.
In November 1990, John married Tonia Sells. He didn’t enter the relationship truthfully – he lied about his age, telling her he was 26 when he was actually 31. He told her his name was Jonathan, his legal name is John.
None of his family attended the wedding – he explained that they were drug addicts, and he didn’t want them there to ruin their special day. Some of his friends from law school attended though. In a video captured on the day, they tell the videographer that his nickname was Dirty John, but they couldn’t explain why – it wasn’t fit for repeating.
Tonia was a recent graduate nurse in anaesthesia. John decided he wanted to do the same thing, so Tonia helped him through school, under the impression that he was a law graduate.
John and Tonia were married for 10 years and had 2 children when John decided he wanted a divorce. Tonia then tracked down John’s mother, who she’d never met and had been told never to contact. Dolores told Tonia everything – John’s real name and age and that he’d had a drug charge against him back in California.
Tonia also found John’s stash of surgical anaesthetic drugs in their home, so she reported him to the police. They started investigating him in September 2000.
In 2002, another police investigation started when hospital workers saw him bring a gun into the operating room and witnessed him stealing pain medication that he was supposed to be giving to patients.
As a result, in April 2002 John was stripped of his license to work as a nurse anaesthetist. The police searched his house and found a loaded gun and 45 empty medication containers for 6 different types of prescription medication.
In June 2002 John was arrested and he pleaded guilty to felony drug theft, but before he was convicted, he fled from Ohio to Michigan where police found him unconscious in a motel room surrounded by drug vials. He was taken from there in an ambulance where things get crazy:
The ambulance was rushing him to hospital when he unbuckled himself from the restraints, grabbed the drug kit and jumped into the road – from a moving ambulance. I’m guessing they were going slowly trying to get through traffic or something, because he got out unscathed. He fled to a nearby JC Penney (kind of a bit like what Debenhams was in the UK) and managed to scramble on top of a cargo elevator and into the shaft, and in doing so kicked a cop in the face.
It’s like a scene out of a movie, you just can’t believe something like this actually happened. The police finally caught up with him and handcuffed him when he tumbled out to the ground, covered in grease (imagine John McClane in the elevator shaft in Die Hard, except a psycho, not a cool cop) and he knocked himself unconscious in the process.
The result of this was 6 years in prison in Michigan for resisting arrest and possession of drugs. He only served 17 months and was released in 2004.
Between then and meeting Debra 10 years later, there were many, many, many court documents proving that he seduced, swindled and terrorised multiple women – many of whom he’d met on dating sites posing as a doctor.
So just a quick tally of the lies he told Debra, and the truths he kept from her:
He was never a qualified doctor. He was a disgraced anaesthetic nurse who no longer holds a license. He’d spent time in prison multiple times. He abused drugs. He had a history of threatening behaviour. He had multiple restraining orders against him.
I think that’s everything? If she’d known all of this, she would never have dated him, never have married him, and never let him near her kids. Instead, he was a born liar – a man used to getting exactly what he wanted and not letting anyone get in the way of that.
Back to our story though. We left John in a hospital bed threatening Debra and Debra had taken the opportunity and moved out.
Experts say that abused women typically return to their abusive partner 7 times before they leave for good. Debra returned to John just 3 months later. The tone in his text messages and voicemail messages had returned back to how they previously were – he told her it was the medication and the pain while he’d been in hospital.
He went back to telling her how much he loved her and how much he needed her. How she had made him a better man. He apologised for hiding so much from her, and explained that when they’d clicked at first, he was afraid she’d reject him if she knew the truth.
He invested time building their relationship, and Debra was determined to make her 5th marriage work. She took her wedding vows seriously and wanted to work on their relationship rather than throw it out at the first sign of trouble. Despite being warned by her solicitor that voluntarily seeing him would make it impossible to argue in court that she was in danger from his actions, she still agreed to meet with him.
They moved into a new apartment together, as the lease had ended on their place in Balboa Heights. Her family thought she was crazy going back to him, but his story was convincing, she believed he loved her, and she really wanted to make it work.
Less than a year later, things had got bad again. John tried to cut Debra off from the rest of her family. She snuck out to see her daughters, under the guise of client meetings. But John caught her sneaking out to see Jacqueline and John told her if she saw Jacqueline again, he’d throw her (Jacqueline) in the ocean. His threats against her daughters were clear.
Debra made a decision, she talked with a PI on what the best action to take was and they advised her against her instincts to just leave, but to slowly extricate herself instead. If he was as dangerous as everything pointed to, it needed to be a well-timed and well-prepared exit.
So, Debra acted like nothing was wrong, but started putting aside a little money here and there – she had to play his game to stay safe. But he caught wind of it and confronted her. She panicked and rushed to leave, and he cornered her, threatening her, telling her to “hit me, because you will never get up again.”
Debra was in hiding. She wore dark wigs, changed her clothes from her statement designer labels to plain unnoticeable clothes. She stayed in hotels under her assistant’s names and kept moving so she was never in one place for too long. He kept texting her and calling her, threatening her. She’d change her number, but he’d call the office and pretend to be a client and get her new number.
She lived in constant fear, and he made sure his presence was known. He told her to give him half of everything she had, and he’d go away quietly. If she didn’t, she’d regret it.
She tried to annul the marriage, but John refused. She tried to get a restraining order, but the court decided that her life was in no immediate danger. John now lived in another state (he moved to Las Vegas) and he had never physically harmed her.
Just two months after she left him, John was caught on surveillance cameras stealing one of her cars and it was found a few blocks away. It smelt of gasoline and there was mild fire damage. He’d tried to burn it, but had shut the doors and windows, so the fire couldn’t spread properly.
One month later, he turned up at Terra’s building. She worked at a dog groomers, and she remembers a client calling with a French accent. She thought it was a bit weird – he talked about knowing her, and she couldn’t remember anyone with a French accent.
He asked what her schedule was the next day as he had 2 Rhodesian Ridgebacks he wanted her to groom. She let him know her schedule and planned to see him the following day and didn’t think much more about.
The next day she was excited, she was going to a concert to see Jason Aldean that night. She wore rubber wellington boots for work, as she needed the grip and the waterproofing while she washed the dogs. She also took her dog Cash to work with her – one of the perks of the job. She got home around 5 – a bit earlier than usual so she could get ready for the concert.
As she pulled into her usual parking space outside her apartment block, she noticed a man by a car with a tyre iron. She just assumed he was having car problems. She got out the car and went to get Cash out of the back seat when the guy grabbed her. He said, “Do you remember me?” She did. It was John Meehan. He put his hand over her mouth and she bit down hard, and he backed off before coming at her again.
At first she thought she was being punched, but she realised he wasn’t hitting her with his hands but stabbing her with a concealed knife. She quickly realised that he was trying to drag her towards his car boot which was open. “I thought he was going to put me in the boot to bleed out or take me to a secondary location where he’d call my mum for ransom – I just didn’t know”.
Terra did what she learnt from TV – she thought she needed to protect her main organs and fight for her life. She fell onto her back and saw the knife. It was in that split second, she realised he was there to kill her.
Terra instinctively started bicycle kicking him and her rubber boots saved her. They came in contact with the knife, and it flew out of his hand and landed next to her right hand. She thought it was a guardian angel or God or her spirit guides, because if it landed anywhere else, he would have reached it first.
She grabbed the knife and started going crazy on him. Terra later said she thought she was stabbing him in his chest, but the reality was she was stabbing him wherever the blade fell – she caught him in the back, on his arm, his shoulders, on his forehead and she eventually got the knife into his left eye. It was only at that point that the attack stopped.
He gasped and collapsed.
A young girl from the same apartment block as Terra rushed down after seeing the attack from her balcony. She was only 14 years old. She told her mother to call 911 and grabbed a towel and ran to Terra’s aid. No one else in the apartment complex called the police or went to intervene/help. It was a building and area where hearing fights and raised voices was the norm – it was usual to just look the other way.
After Terra struck the final blow, she was very aware of people trying to revive John – to save him. All she could think was if this was a film, he wouldn’t be dead, he’d return somehow, and she’d still die.
But this wasn’t a film, it was real life. He didn’t die there in the parking lot. Ambulances picked up him and Terra and took them to different hospitals. Debra didn’t want to visit John in the hospital first, but the police wouldn’t allow her to visit Terra before she had identified John, as he had no means of identification on him, they needed to be certain who he was.
Terra thought her mother had picked John again after the nurses told her that her mother couldn’t be by her side because she was at the other hospital. Debra was told that John showed no brain activity and as his wife she had the decision to make about switching off life support.
In a great show of strength that many wouldn’t have been able to – Debra said she didn’t want that decision on her hands. The decision was deferred to John’s sister Karen. Karen reviewed the brain scans and gave the OK for life support to be turned off. A transplant team wanted to try and harvest his organs, but years of drug abuse meant they were useless.
‘Dirty’ John Meehan was pronounced dead at the age of 57 on 24th August 2016, just 4 days after he attacked Terra. He was cremated in a cardboard box, and Debra filmed it. She wanted to give Terra peace of mind that he was really gone. So far, she hasn’t shown Terra the video, but she keeps it just in case.
Although there was not much press at the time about his death, ex-girlfriends sought out information to confirm he was actually dead. When Christopher Goffard created the Dirty John podcast and the case garnered a lot of attention, more exes came out to testify how John Meehan had mistreated them.
This is a remarkable story where the bad guy lost his life instead of a young girl losing hers, but there are still victims who live with the trauma of what John Meehan inflicted on them.
The many, many women who suffered at the hands of John Meehan, including Debra Newell. Terra Newell who lives with the reality that she killed someone, even if it was in self-defence. To this day she still suffers with PTSD from the trauma of that day.
It could have gone very differently, and in most cases women like Terra don’t kill their attackers. But for Terra, the odds were in her favour, and she walked away from a fight where it was kill or be killed.